We think about it but never ask it out loud. Do I matter? Am I important enough for something I feel I am but am not sure?
There's a simple philosophy I follow. To figure out if or if not you matter for a particular situation, picture yourself being away from it. Analyze the impact then. Do I matter in my job? Simple, think what impact would be made if you're away from it. Will nobody notice or will all hell break loose? That will surprisingly also help you analyze your strengths and weaknesses. If nobody cares, you're probably not very good at it. If all hell breaks loose, that's probably your strength.
Let's apply that to relationships. Give it a thought, would the person in consideration be really affected by your absence? How much of their life would be impacted if you're gone? I know you're thinking about someone specific when you are reading this right now. Now think exactly the opposite, how much of your life would be affected if they are not there. Would you sail through that nice and easy or would you find it hard to even figure out where your socks are in the house? Gives a whole different perspective to dependencies on other human beings and independence both, doesn't it?
Let's get back to the work topic and reverse the scenario. How much of your life will change if you switch from your current role or, simply stop working? Forget the social criteria. Again, think, how much would a social hurdle really really affect your life? A lot of us are scared to change our current statuses because of what society will think. But then again, most of us do not stop to think about why we should give a damn. Will it affect your life in any way really? How much time do you as an individual really have to think about the life of others? Hardly any. Then, what makes you think others will have extra hours in their life to do a PhD about you?
People pleasers, here's your cue. Learn when its time to take a stand. Learn when its time to put your foot down. Learn when its time to stop thinking about others happiness and start thinking about yours. You know, just saying. :)
